Author: Joye Johnson

Exterior day. Two coffee shops. Man having breakfast at one, woman at the other. W: You’re scared, aren’t you?M: Isn’t that what women tell themselves when a guy’s not into them?W: But you are into me.M: Did I say I was?W: Bruh, you’re 500 miles away and I can hear your thoughts.M: How?W: I don’t … Continue reading Scenes From a Café

When people find out you’re a writer, many will say ‘don’t put me in your story ha ha.’ A fellow writer came back with the most searing, talk-them-off-the-bridge response I’ve ever heard. I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever get the nerve to say it because there’s really no way back from it. It’s a … Continue reading ‘Don’t Put Me in Your Story’

Like adamantium to Wolverine, Barbie is fused to my bones. My childhood spanned the entire 80’s, where Barbie went from Super Star Barbie Fashion Face (with a wolf whistle in the commercial so the Simpsons’ take wasn’t as far off as you hoped) to Barbie becoming an astronaut. In between, she was the proud owner … Continue reading Is Ken Just An Introvert?

I wrote this for a Moth Story event in 2017. The theme was ‘culture shock’, but it definitely fits my status as a recovered pick-me: When I was younger, I had a lot of male friends. After many conversations with them, I just knew I was right up their alley when they said ‘I wish … Continue reading Confessions of a Former Pick-Me

The term ‘girl boss’ holds an air of condescension for some. I get that, the qualification of ‘boss’ as if it had nothing to do with the feminine. We’ve driven phrases like ‘woman doctor’ out of the lexicon, and good riddance. No one raises an eyebrow when a judge, astronaut or CEO turns out to … Continue reading Why I’m OK with ‘Girl Boss’

Not to brag, but I know why Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley wed himself unto Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn. The true and absolute reason. ‘But Joye’, you ask, ‘short of setting the DeLorean for 1810, what more is there to know?’ In Pride and Prejudice, no bones are made about why Elizabeth marries Darcy. … Continue reading The REAL Reason Darcy Married Elizabeth

A while back I watched an episode of The X Files. It might have been the pilot because Scully called Mulder ‘Fox’. This was the character’s first name but when Scully used it, Mulder deadpanned “I made my parents call me Mulder.” From then on Scully did the same, and Mulder’s first name was never … Continue reading What Did You Call Me?

It wasn’t me, it was you. Or so you told me—the line everyone says as if they learned it along with the alphabet. Not that you actually said it. We didn’t get far enough for it to be necessary. But you would have said it, had I made my old mistakes. This time I didn’t make excuses for not hearing from you, I didn’t take ‘let’s stay in touch’ to mean you wanted to stay in touch. I said my piece and walked away. You went on with your life and so did I. But it’s sort of a miracle that I got to do that much.

I had resigned myself to never seeing you again, that you were a decades-old oversight and I would just have to deal with it. I’m supposed to be grateful that I got to at least talk to you, and I am. I’ve had to close up shop in stages, accept that this is truly the last time I ‘put myself out there’. It’s not that I’m giving up. It’s just time to stop making room in my heart for people who don’t want to be there. Continue reading “Dear (Redacted):”

I love audiobooks, and now I’ve got one of my own. Cress in Waterbee is available on Audible.com. If you’re new to Audible, check the link below: https://tinyurl.com/ya9vvva7 But if you need that solid item in your hand, no worries. You can email me at dawnpalmolive@aol.com to place an order. The prices include shipping.  Check the … Continue reading Audio version of Cress in Waterbee now available